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The Most Difficult & Hilarious Musics in the World
A web-site source for Authorized prints of the famous and hilarious incredible amazing and delightful compositions of John Stump.

I am currently distributing "The Faeries Aire and Death March" and "Prelude and The Last Hope in C and C# Minor" in beautiful 11 X 15 inch sturdy laminated sets. These are published in accord with John's Copyright ownership. The price is $25 for both, plus shipping/handling . $15 each singly.

For distributors and teachers and musical directors volume discounts are negotiable. Please do contact and support the appreciation and reward to John for his wonderful works.

Order or just contact me to chew the carpet at

John Stump Awarded Prize

Dateline: Hollywoodistafan Kazakhstan 31 March 2007 11:59PM

In an incredible last minute finish, John Stump, composer of a limited library of unlimited exuberance and hilarity sprinted to the Finish line to edge out John Lampkin, Frank Zappa and John Williams to win Naming and assurance of Posthumous Recognition as The Greatest Living Surrealist DaDa Composer.

This INCREDIBLE honor will entitle him [upon Positive Identification of Eventual Decease] to perpetual warming at the Eternal Flame of Artistic Ambivalence in the Mausoleum & Museum of Artistic Uniquities, Iniquities Ambiguities & Antiquities in Hollywoodistafan, along with such previously honored (and now deceased) greats such as Erik Satie and John Cage.

Despite their narrow but keening loss to Mr. Stump, Frank Zappa and John Williams sent congratulatory messages. John Lampkin could not be reached for comment.

Mr. Stump, addressed in his already perpetual reclusion and seclusion near Hollywood, California shyly and characteristically declined to comment - nor would he allow photographs or fireworks or penguins to be released in respect of this signal recognition.

However, in Hollywoodistafan's sister city Mr. Stumps Masterpiece "Faerie's Aire and Death Waltz" (sic) from "A Tribute to Zdenko G. Fibich" will be performed at The Hollywood Bowl in the not-to-distant future.

[No penguins or ducks have been harmed in the issue of this press release.]

submitted by Stuart Tarbuck
Choice words, phrases, and aphorisms